As a mother, maybe you have ever felt confused about why the children at home are difficult to manage? Children are so irritable that you have a hard time controlling them. If it’s like this, can it be fixed? Reporting from the website of the Mother of Psychologist Lynne Kenney said, children may be angry because one or both parents have an irritable disposition so that it can create an emotional atmosphere in the family.
The anger of these parents, continued Kenney, was not actually caused by children. It is people because they feel overwhelmed, helpless, or tired. However, when parents lose control emotionally or physically, the child can become frightened. This is what makes the defensive brain take over when the child feels attacked or afraid.
In addition, Kenney says, parents may not know how to help themselves. So that parents find it difficult to teach better ways to their children.
In fact, when parents perceive children’s emotions as easily escalating, said Kenney, parents have the power to influence situations with our own reactions. However, unfortunately, parents like to respond with high emotions so that it becomes a habit for all family members.
“Watching your own reactions can really help,” says Kenney in his book 50 Unruly Parenting Guides. To improve children’s emotional behavior, Kenney suggests parents take the following steps:
1. Think before acting or speaking.
2. Observe nonverbal communication. Kenney said children can judge from the faces and postures of parents when talking to them. So, children can feel when you are angry.
3. Observe the tone of voice. You probably don’t mean to be rude, angry, or proud. But parents often have a high pitch when emotions are provoked.
4. Concentrate on breathing and calming yourself down.
5. Manage emotions without taking it out on the child.
6. Get help. Sometimes, controlling emotions means looking at the past to better control feelings in the future.
7. If you tell the child that you need time and space to calm down, it is as if the child’s fault.
“Controlling emotions is our job, we have to do it without blaming other people for how we feel,” said Kenney. Launching from Mom Junction, some basic knowledge about emotional development can help parents contribute to children’s growth.
If parents want to understand their children, they need to make time for them. “Quality time doesn’t always mean talking or doing something together. Sometimes being able to sit together, be quiet, and observe them can be a new experience,” says Pediatrician Claudia M Gold, MD. Understanding yourself is a way of understanding your own child.